The Network Garden

One of my mentors once conveyed a bit of wisdom that really stuck with me. He stated, “I pride myself on not cornering people.”

Being someone who is pre-wired to be directed towards specific outcomes, a direct communicator and resolute in my approach, I initially took his response to be weak-knee’d or passive, so I asked him how his philosophy avoided such traps.

His answer was that there are LOTS of different ways to communicate, be direct and be specific without cornering someone.

His takes was that “words matter,” and that words, when coupled with perception, become a reality that, if not measured, has a tendency to create zero-sum outcomes, and leave bad feelings.

Having been no stranger to such scuffles to this point in life, I took his words to heart (he was a hugely successful 50+ year career entrepreneur and a genuine, warm spirit, so that counted in my book).

Moving forward, I focused on both the messaging and the mechanics of driving to specific outcomes in a way that neither bulldozed nor cornered.

Part of this involved soliciting feedback on goals and outcomes with stakeholders, and seeking validation on fairness, alignment and reciprocity.

It also armed me with tools to disarm others whose style confused aggression with directed-ness.

Looking back, it tightened relationships, reconciled the frailty of ego, and equally, led to materially better outcomes in both personal and professional scenarios.

Food for thought.