The Network Garden

Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O’Neal played together from 1996-2004, and won a “three-peat” of championships in 2000, 2001 and 2002, respectively.

Yet, owing to big brother-little brother dynamics, differing GOAT-level regimens, and the nature of two apex predators trying to co-exist, they also famously feuded, culminating in Jerry Buss trading Shaq in 2004.

Shaq went on to win a championship in Miami in 2006, with Dwayne Wade as the big dog, while the Lakers treaded water.

After the Lakers lost the 2008 NBA Finals to the Boston Celtics, Shaq, in a recorded freestyle rap (see below) leaned into the narrative that Kobe couldn’t win without him (Shaq) by rapping, “Kobe, tell me how my ass tastes.”

Shaq disses Kobe in a rap, asks him how his ass tastes after the 2008 finals
byu/RyanTannegod innba

A crass dig, to be sure, but what Shaq was trying to suggest was that Kobe should “kiss Shaq’s ring finger” because Kobe was beneath him.

(Footnote: Kobe Bryants’ Lakers went on to win back-to-back NBA championships, and Kobe and Shaq subsequently made peace.)

“Tell me how my ass tastes.”

I bring this up because Shaq’s “tasting ass” talk forever plays in my head when I encounter the bottomless barrel of bootlickers who can be counted upon to reflexively pucker up when challenged whether:

• More is simply better in tech
• Market forces always yield the right outcomes
• Tech can be “trusted” to do the right thing
• The end justifies the means when you WIN
• We should revere and celebrate oligarchs & oligarchy
• Loyalty to the President should be absolute

Always speaking truth to power, “South Park” famously mocked (former) Attorney General Pam Bondi’s sycophancy to Trump, covering her nose in recent episode with a brown, smeary substance whenever she praised him.

But a five minute scroll on Twitter reveals the countless ass-sommeliers who will regale with third-hand stories of Musk’s, Bezos’, Zuckerberg’s, Thiel’s and Andreessen’s heroic, angelic, god-like moves, free of skepticism or nuance, let alone, critical thought.

Whether borne of mindlessness, ignorance, tribalism or cynicism, you do you.

But, do so knowing that the choice to relegate personal responsibility is 1000x more “root-level” than allowing heroes to live rent-free in your head.

It’s full-on cognitive lockdown.

Final Thought: Tail Meet Dog

Elon Musk is regularly cited as the gift that keeps giving in terms of prodigiousness of invention, master of industry and contributor to the quality of life that we live.

It begs the question. Is Musk a product of American society, or the other way around?

Put another way, if Musk had never been allowed to come to America, would he still have become Mr. PayPal, Tesla, SpaceX, etc. in his native South Africa, or as a European or Chinese immigrant?

Similarly, in an America devoid of Musk, would a commensurate alternative to Tesla and SpaceX have emerged anyway?