The Network Garden

Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O’Neal played together from 1996-2004, and won a “three-peat” of championships in 2000, 2001 and 2002, respectively.

Yet, owing to big brother-little brother dynamics, differing GOAT-level regimens, and the nature of two apex predators trying to co-exist, they also famously feuded, culminating in Jerry Buss trading Shaq in 2004.

Shaq went on to win a championship in Miami in 2006, with Dwayne Wade as the big dog, while the Lakers treaded water.

After the Lakers lost the 2008 NBA Finals to the Boston Celtics, Shaq, in a recorded freestyle rap (see below) leaned into the narrative that Kobe couldn’t win without him (Shaq) by rapping, “Kobe, tell me how my ass tastes.”

Shaq disses Kobe in a rap, asks him how his ass tastes after the 2008 finals
byu/RyanTannegod innba

What Shaq was trying to suggest was that Kobe should “kiss his ring finger” because Kobe’s beneath him.

(Footnote: Kobe Bryants’ Lakers won back-to-back NBA championships beginning the next year. Kobe and Shaq subsequently made peace and shared mutual respect.)

“Kobe, tell me how my ass tastes.”

I bring this up because Shaq’s riff will forever-more play in my head when exposed to the many “selfies” of hero-dom, fealty & worship in our society, who mindlessly or cynically defend:

• Tech as “more is always better,” trustworthy to self-police
• Winning as an “ends justify the means” practice
• Oligarchy as just rewards for winning
• Absolute loyalty to the “madness” of King Trump

Bottomless are the legions who can TELL you how (pick one, any, all) Elon Musk’s, Jeff Bezos’, Mark Zuckerberg’s, Peter Thiel’s and/or Mark Andreessen’s ass tastes. And yes, pun intended.

You do you. But, do so knowing that the choice to relegate personal responsibility is 1000x more “root-level” than allowing heroes to live rent-free in your head.

It’s full-on cognitive lock.

Tail, Meet Dog

A final thought. Elon Musk is regularly cited as the gift that keeps giving in terms of prodigiousness of invention, master of industry and contributor to the quality of life that we live.

It begs the question. Is Musk a product of American society, or the other way around?

Put another way, if Musk had never been allowed to come to America, would he still have become Mr. PayPal, Tesla, SpaceX, etc. in his native South Africa, or as a European or Chinese emigrant?

Similarly, in an America devoid of Musk, would a commensurate alternative to Tesla and SpaceX have emerged anyway?